Shelf Rack

Have you ever seen a butt so big that you could actually rest something on top of it and it would stay? That my faithful readers is called shelf butt and I know you all know what I'm talking about. Well, I have a flat butt so don't even think that I'm referring to myself.

However, instead of shelf butt, I have shelf rack. In other words anything that falls off of my fork or spoon en route to my mouth lands on my rack, or my shelf. While many pairs of pants have been saved by this, many shirts have been ruined. In fact, I dare you to find one shirt in my closet that does not have stain in the vicinity that is my rack.

This phenomenon has come to be a running joke with my co-workers as well as my family. Pretty much anyone who's ever eaten with me or who has seen me in person knows exactly what I'm talking about. However, I don't always drop food on myself, I mean I'm not a slob. But sometimes crumbs collect there as well as dropped food and any beverages that get spilled.

So, as you can see having a big rack is not all it's cracked up to be. And when you do see me, please don't stare at any stains that I may have accumulated. And I refuse to wear a bib so don't even suggest it!