Run And Hide While You Still Can

That's a picture of me. Yes it's recent. I have PMS. I suggest that you drop the chocolate, the pretzels and the ice cream and back away slowly. I SAID, DROP THE CHOCOLATE.

Most of the time when I have PMS I just get a little emotional and weepy. I cry at commercials (shut up) and movies. Mostly stupid shit. Then there are times when I want to rip people's arms off and beat them to death with them just for smiling at me and saying hello. Heaven help the people that just made eye contact. Don't get me wrong, I hardly ever get this way during that time. However, this is one of those month's where you don't want to know me.

This is why I'm so pissy this month. My actual start date is Tuesday, yet for the past two days I'm already bloated, having cravings and I already have the feeling like Aunt Flo has started even though she hasn't. Ladies you know what I'm talking about. Oh yeah and my boobs hurt. Those of you that haven't seen "The Rack" that's an awful lot of tissue and an awful lot of pain. They hurt when guys stare at them, that's how tender they are this month. Oh and when my lovely aunt actually shows up, I'm going to have awful cramps to go along with everything else.

Now that I have filled you in on the details, please let me know if you still don't understand why I'm feeling so pissy. But I will warn you, if I have to come over there to explain it, you had better have plenty of chocolate or chips or ice cream or you'll be sorry.

Now give me some fucking chocolate or nachos. Please I beg you, satisfy the beast.