One Of My Worst Moments

I can hardly stand to to talk about it, it was so horrible. But here it is. I went outside with my beloved Smokey to take him for a walk and I planned on putting my new license plates on while I was out there. After Smokey did his business, I was going to put him into the hallway in the apartment while I put the plates on, however, the car was right there and I decided to load him into the back seat and then go put the plates on.

So, we walked up to the car and I opened the car door and bent over to pick him up and put him into the back seat. I started to scoop him up as I have done thousands of times when something went wrong and before I knew what was happening he was crashing head first into the ground. Luckily I hadn't lifted him very far off the ground, and I did all I could to get him back down safely when all of a sudden he let out these blood curdling screaming yelping sounds. The sounds were making me sick to my stomach.

I finally got him down to the ground and there he stood with three legs on the ground and his front paw sticking out in front of him while he continued to cry out. I think that my heart actually stopped while we were standing there. He continued to limp around with his paw sticking straight out and crying. I scooped him up ever so gently and put him into the back seat of the car so that I could rush him to the hospital. I shut the door and started walking back to the apartment when I realized that I had to put the plates on.

I checked on him in the back seat of the car and he was just sitting there with his paw in the air. It was the most pathetic looking thing. I took him back out of the car and he was walking around on all four paws with a bad limp and then he went up and down the three flights to the apartment just fine.

Needless to say that I felt so horrible and that I have spent as much time spoiling him as I can and fussing over him. This was the worst feeling and even though he's okay, I've spent the last few days playing the incident over and over again in my mind, wondering what went wrong and wondering why I didn't just put him into the building like I planned. Why? Why? Why? That's what haunts me. I know that he has forgiven me for this incident, why can't I forgive myself?