Guest Blogger # 1

I have asked Mr. Fabulous to supply my very first guest post and Marty to supply my second one.

Without further ado:

In Appreciation of a Nice Rack

"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You can't stare at it long, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away!"

Jerry Seinfeld

I like boobs. I am not going to apologize for that. I think we men take a lot of undeserved crap for liking boobs, for looking at boobs, for sneaking peaks at cleavage.

“Hey, buddy, my eyes are up here!”

Maybe so, but if my dick was in the center of my forehead you wouldn’t be looking in my eyes, either.

Hey, I am not a pig. I am certainly not a sexist. I treat women, and men, with respect. Well, with as much respect as they deserve, depending on who they are and the circumstances. After all, a lot of people are douchebags, you know.

I don’t make catcalls. I don’t make rude remarks. I just...like to look at them as much as I can without getting caught. Or making it seem like I am looking. What we are talking about here, my friends, is appreciation, not degradation.

Wow. I can rhyme just like Jesse Jackson.

“Why would I be a leg man? I have legs.”

Jerry Seinfeld

I know that breasts do not define a person. I am nowhere near that shallow. Well, okay, I am shallow, but not that kind of shallow. I would never go out with a woman just because she had nice boobs. There are about a hundred things more important than that.

I don’t buy a car because it comes with satellite radio, but if it happens to have satellite radio, so much the better.

I don’t buy a house just because it comes with an in-ground swimming pool. But if it happens to have one, I will enjoy it on a regular basis.

Hey, probably my most favorite actress is Nicole Kidman. I think she is gorgeous. And I have bigger boobs than she does.

So I think, in my twisted little world; that entitles me to gaze cast an appreciating glance here and there.

Let’s put them on the glass here, shall we? We like noticing them, and you like when we notice them, as long as we’re not assholes about it. And that’s okay. It’s a beautiful thing. There is nothing wrong with that as long as we don’t reduce a beautiful, talented, smart, funny, accomplished woman down to a couple of glee globes.*

There is more to life than a nice rack, after all.

For example, Mrs. Fab and I have been together for a long time. And she…

Wait, that’s a bad example. She’s stacked.**

*That was a term brought up by a woman on one of my comments yesterday

**For those of you who are wondering, Mrs. Fab approved this post. I’m not stupid.