I'm Feeling Blue Today

Today I received a personalized card from my Vet's office, and when I say personalized I mean, they all signed it, but several of them who know me really well wrote me little notes and included hugs and kisses for the dogs. I thought it was so sweet. I wrote them a card to wish them a happy holiday and to thank them for all they have done for me over the past year.

The card is not the reason that I'm feeling sad. That picture of Zeke was taken when he was about 95lbs back in January of this year. Currently, he is less than 74lbs and is getting smaller, he doesn't finish eating anymore, he has more accidents in the house and he can hardly walk. He's almost 10 years old and I'm getting the feeling that his time may be up soon.

Let me tell you how I acquired my beloved Doberman. In the beginning of October of 2001 I was engaged to the most awful man on the face of the earth (that is a separate post for another time). By mid October of 2001, my engagement was off and I had a restraining order against said horrid human being. In December of 2001, I adopted Zeke (he came with that name) and for the last 4 years he has been my buddy, my protector and one of the very, very few that loves me unconditionally. In fact, to show my dog how much I love him back, I bought a house when I relocated to CT so that I wouldn't have to give him up. I'm so dedicated.

I don't know what I will do with myself if it's his time. While I still have Smokey, which will ease the pain, I will also have a big hole in my heart and a sick feeling in my tummy. I know that dog's don't live forever, but it just feels like a cruel joke that something can come into your life and bring you so much love, entertainment, joy and companionship and who asks for nothing in return except for your love, food and a place to live, and yet our time with them is so short. It just doesn't seem fair, I mean the jerks in our lives seemingly live forever and our beloved pets are ripped away after just a few short years.

I'm taking Zeke to the vet tomorrow, keep your fingers crossed that I will have good news to post about tomorrow.