Dog Poop and The Second Date

I'm back. A great big thanks to my guest bloggers!! I'm always up for another guest post, so let me know anytime you want to be my guest!!

Now, back to the title of this post. Some of you know this story, but I'm going to tell it again, so there.

So, I met this guy online. We had out first date on a Sunday. He took me out to a really nice restaurant. He couldn't wait to see me again. We made plans for the next day for when I got out of work, he would meet me at my house. I flew home, walked and fed the dogs, changed my clothes and then waited.

He showed up right on time. We went out and grabbed some take out chinese food. We go back to my place. So far so good. We get back to my house.

This is the point in the story where I need to tell you what this guy was like. He was Monk. No lie. A complete germophobe. He washed his hands 20 times a day, he vacuumed his apartment everyday and took the trash out everyday. He does not like pets. He was a momma's boy. That part isn't really relevant but I thought that I would throw it in. Oh yeah, he also had no manners.

Anyway, we get back to my house and this is where the story begins. I never ate at my kitchen table and we were about to sit down at the table and eat, so before we sat down I wiped off the table. As I was wiping off the table, my doberman came shuffling into the kitchen. Now he had already gone to the bathroom so I thought he was coming in to say hello. So, I said hi baby, how are you?

The dog continues to walk past me towards the door. Now I had just finished wiping the table, my date was already eating. Yeah I know. I mentioned he had no manners.

So the dog walks towards the door and as he does so, he manages to take an enormous shit right there on the kitchen floor. I freak out and open the door and throw the dog out. My date keeps eating. Now I'm faced with a dilemma. See the dog was done with his business and was now running away because he was just let out and there was no fence and no leash. So my dilemma, chase the dog, or clean up the steamer in the middle of the kitchen. My date? Yeah he was still eating.

I opt to chase after the dog, not because I didn't want to lose him, but mostly because I was humiliated and it seemed like the only way for me to escape this nightmare. I catch the dog, I bring him back inside and yes the steamer is still there on the floor waiting for me. My date? He was still eating.

I go back inside, I clean the steamer. I wash my hands. I put my food in the fridge. I sit down at the table with my head bowed in shame. My date? He finishes his food and leaves the empty container on the table for me to clean up.

Now, I know what you're all thinking. Yes I did see him again after that, but mostly that was because he wanted to see me again. I ended up dating him for two months. He never brought up the steamer incident, but I told everyone. I think my brother nearly peed his pants when I told him the story. His snorting, chuckling response was, the poor guy was trying to choke down his wontons while the dog was leaving a giant wonton behind. It's not that funny in print, it was more funny because my brother was laughing so hard he couldn't spit out the words.