Dog Poop & The Second Date-The Dog's Version

Marty was kind enough to re-write my previous post from the dog's perspective. I thought it was very funny. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you Marty!!

I was home all day as usual and boy was I glad to see my bitch, Leave. She came home and was running around like a chicken without a head. She gave me something to eat and took me out to do my business.

I’m looking forward to a nice quiet evening but I noticed that Leave is getting all dressed up. All of a sudden the doorbell rings. I run to the door and start barking. She opens the door and outside is some shmuck. I’m not surprised cause I’ve seen a lot of shmucks at the front door. Leave goes out with this shmuck.

While she’s away, my stomach starts rumbling. Soon enough, they come back and Leave is putting out food for her and the shmuck. Between the looks of this shmuck and the smell of the food, I’m sick to my stomach. Finally, I lose it and take a dump on the kitchen floor. I was so embarrassed, I ran out the door.

When I was a pup, I did that all the time. But here I am beyond that stage and I did it. I really couldn’t face her, I was so humiliated. And she had company as well. OK, the guy looked like a shmuck but that was no reason to take a dump while he was eating.

So we get back to the house and this shmuck is still eating. I have a great sense of smell but to tell you the truth, I couldn’t distinguish between the food and the shit on the floor. How this shmuck was still eating was beyond me! I almost felt like crapping in his food to see if he’d stop eating, but I was in enough trouble already.

I saw this shmuck come by a few more times after that. Then he stopped coming by. I still feel a little guilty every now and then. But it’s a dog’s life!