Zeke February 9, 1996-February 20, 2006

The shelter where I adopted Zeke, has a Rainbrow Bridge page where they post tributes to deceased dobermans. Zeke has already been gone a month and I have tried on a couple of occasions to write one and I haven't been able to make it through the tears. Today, I sat myself down and forced myself to write it. It took 4 tries and many, many tissues and tears, but I finally got through it and submitted it. It will take awhile before the shelter adds my tribute, so I thought that I would share it with you here. Without further ado here is the picture I sent and my tribute:






Zeke February 9, 1996 – February 20, 2006

Dear DRU:

I wanted to let you know that my beloved Zeke, otherwise known to DRU as Black Zeke was laid to rest on February 20, 2006. I wanted to thank you for bringing this amazingly sweet, loyal and loving dog into my life. Although I only had 4 short years with him, they were the best that any dog owner could ask for. I would be honored if you would post this tribute on your Rainbow Bridge.

Dear Zeke:

I’ll never forget that Sunday afternoon when I met you. You walked up to me, smiled and then climbed up on the couch next to me and placed your head in my lap. I knew in that instant that I was going to be taking you home.

You adapted very quickly to your new home and life. You were more than my dog; you were my friend and a member of my family.

I miss the way you used to put your head on my arm or lap when you wanted my attention. I miss the way you always knew when I was sad or sick and how you used to nuzzle me and give me kisses to make me feel better.

I miss your bright shining eyes and the way you used to tilt your head from side to side when I talked to you as if you understood every word.

Even during those last few months when you could hardly get around and having so much trouble, you were still there to snuggle me and make me feel better. You were always there when I needed you.

I know that letting you go was what was best for you, but I miss you so much. Your loss has left a huge hole in my heart. Until we meet again, I miss you and I will love you always.

All My Love Mommy

I'm Baaaaaccckkkk

Hello everyone. I'm back. I'm all moved into my new place, I came back from London on Monday and I started my new job on Tuesday. I know that you're all dying to hear about my trip so I won't keep you in suspense. BTW, I missed you all very much.

I drove to NJ on Sunday the 12th, we left for London on Monday the 13th at 9pm and arrived sometime on Tuesday. The room wasn't ready. I was exhausted, it was about 11am London time. We had coffee, the room was finally ready and we crashed and slept for about 3 hours. We got up, showered and headed out at about 4 pm London time, just in time to meet my cousin for dinner. We went to Pizza Express. The waiter flirted with me, the food was really good.

On Wednesday, my Aunt and I got up at 9am London time and we went to Buckingham Palace and watched the changing of the guard (awesome), then we went to Westminster Abbey and took the tour, then we viewed Big Ben, then we went to the House of Parliament and sat in on a discussion and then went and viewed the House of Lords. Then we met up with my cousin and we all went on the London Eye. The London Eye is the world's largest ferris wheel and takes 45 minutes to go completely around. It was awesome. We went back to the hotel and had dinner there because we were too exhausted to move.

On Thursdaywe slept in and when I say slept in, I couldn't wake up. I got up at 11:40am, took a shower got dressed and passed back out until almost 1pm. We went to the Tate Modern. It was cool because we saw various famous artists, but one of the floors was closed so we didn't get to see it. The Tate Modern was boring after almost 2 hours. So then we went to Jenny Lo's Tea House. The food was very good. And then the best thing of all, we went to see Billy Elliot, the play. It was incredible. The kid playing Billy was unbelievably talented. It was just awesome, I can't even describe it. We had 3rd row seats. They told my cousin that the seats were obstructed, but we had no problem. Amazing, that's all I can say.

On Friday we had lunch at Pizza Express again and then went to Portabello Road and checked out the shops and then we had dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe (the original one) because I'd never been. It was a lot of fun. Then we went shopping at the Hard Cafe Store. I have to say that Portabello Road was a suck.

On Saturday my cousin came over early and we spent the day at the Tower of London. This was an all day event as there was so much to see. We started off with the Beefeater Tour (Yeoman Warders) which was very funny, but only gave a high level overview of the buildings. Then we went into each of the buildings and we got to view the crown jewels. We saw the sceptre that has a 530 carat diamond. The exhibit was awesome. We went into the other buildings where they held prisoners and stuff. Now, these are extremely old stone buildings, so going up the stairs, was like having an MRI. The stair cases were so small and narrow and had no railings and there were lines, so there you were standing on a step that was barely large enough to hold your foot, going up a spiraling staircase stopped and you can't see any light. It was still awesome. We enjoyed it immensely.

My cousin stayed at the hotel with us Saturday night, we pushed the postage stamp sized beds together and all three of us slept on there. The heat broke and the room was like a sauna and every time I turned over my cousin kicked me in the butt. It was a great night. Sunday was sad, we had breakfast in the hotel and my cousin cried when it was time for us to leave. I wanted to cry to because I didn't want to spend 7 hours on the plane.

We were very lucky, we had incredibly smooth plane rides going and coming. I had a wonderful time and I'm glad to be back. I'm not thrilled with my new place, but that is a separate post.

Good-Byes

Today was my last day of work in the site I have been in for 2 years. It was a very emotional day. On the one hand I miss my family and have been aching to be closer to them and on the other hand, I worked with a great group. They were funny, they were understanding when I needed a day off when my dog had emergency surgery and then another day when he passed away and they were there to listen and try to cheer me up when the caught the jerk cheating. I will miss them. I tried not to cry, but one of my friends did and then that was it.

Tomorrow will be another rough day. The movers are coming in the morning to pick up all of my stuff and then my going away party is tomorrow night. I still have no where to go tomorrow night after the party so I'm thinking I'll treat myself to a hotel for one night and just chill.

Smokey is going to the kennel tonight. I'm going to miss him so incredibly much and I think it's because of everything that I've had going on. I used to look forward to sending them to the kennel because taking care of Zeke was like having a second job and it used to be such an awesome break for me. But Smokey is so easy to care for that I'm sad to be sending him off tonight. I know he'll be fine and so will I, but it's been nice to have his companionship these past two weeks as I have never felt so alone in my life.

I think that once I'm all moved in, back from my trip and settled into my new job I'll be feeling better and I'll be happy about the move. Right now, I'm tired, I'm scared, I'm hurt, angry and very sad. I don't have anything left in me to be happy or excited.

With that said, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going offline tonight and probably will not be back on for the next 2 weeks. I wish you all health and happiness and lots of love. Those of you that know the cell # feel free to call me and say hi. I will miss you all and I'll catch up with you soon!! MWAH.

Men Suck

Please don't hold the title of this post against me. I'm very hurt, angry and upset. My Mr. Wonderful, turned out to be anything but.

So he's been a little distant lately. He calls me and says, it has nothing to do with you, I love spending time with you, I think you're great, I enjoy being with you I look forward to seeing you. It's got nothing to do with you. So I ask, did you meet someone? He says, no, there's no one else, I'm just feeling mixed up. I ask, what does this mean for us? He says, I would like to take a break, just for one week, not one month, not 6 months just a week to myself. I say ok. It's been a week. He doesn't call, he doesn't answer my emails or text messages. I beg him to just tell me it's over if it is and not leave me hanging. He doesn't answer.

I find out, he's not only involved with one other woman, he's involved with 4 or 5 other women. He's got them in all different states spread out over the US. And I'm left sitting at home wondering why with a broken heart. I lost my dog and this supposed great guy all in a 2 week span. What's next? I'm afraid to ask.

I'm hurting so badly and he doesn't care. I have to say though, this has been a wonderful diet aide. I know that he doesn't deserve to have me cry or be upset over him. But hey, we've been together for 4 months and it hurts.

What I would really like to do is fast forward my life ahead one month. I'd like to be moved, settled, already started in my new job and completely over this jerk. I'm done dating. I swear, I'm done.

No Idea

I don't even know what to title this post. Today was a rough day. I stayed hom sick because I felt like crap. So I decided to be productive.

I went through all three of my closets (yes I'm a clothes whore). I came out with 4 trash bags filled. I went and donated them. I called my vet's office to find out about obtaining my other dog's records for when I move and get a new vet. They told me all he needed was a heartworm test.

So I took my dog for a ride in the car (he LOVES the car). We went to donate my clothes and then we went to the vet's office. Well when I got there, I saw the technician who loved Zeke and was always so good to him. She ran up and hugged me and we cried together. I told her how very sorry I was that she didn't get to say good bye to him. Then the other tech came and hugged me and handed me a little bag. I asked what's this, she said, it's Zeke. Forget it. I lost it. Inside the bag was something else, they had made a mold of one of his paws and wrote Zeke on it. That was too much for me. It was sweet, but oh so emotional.

I can't believe my once beautiful and mighty dog now fits in a little box. It's so sad, but at least I'll have him with me always. The girls at the vet's office asked for a picture. Also, my favorite vet came out, she wanted to talk to me. It was all very sweet. Yet it was another emotional day.