Wednesday, May 31, 2006



That's his new name. He responds to it and well, it was suggested by three people, so here he is. Also, it sounds like Smokey so that works out well.

How precious is he?

Thank you all for your suggestions.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Name That Puppy

Ok, I brought the puppy home and now for the tough part, he needs a name. Please everyone post your suggestion for a name and I will pick the top three and then have everyone vote for their favorite. I'm very bad at naming pets, so please give it your best shot and please, no swear words!!

Thanks!! I look forward to reading your submissions.

Sunday, May 28, 2006


Unfortunately, I live close to the river front and that's where they let off the fireworks, I can see them from my apartment and hear them very well.

However, my poor Smokey is terrified of them. I think that this is one of those times that he really misses Zeke. Zeke wasn't afraid of anything. He would bark and growl at the fireworks and so would Smokey. Now that Smokey doesn't have Zeke here to show him that it's nothing to be afraid of, he's terrified.

So I'm sitting here typing when all of a sudden a 32lb fluffball lands on my lap and retypes my post. I asked him to move, he laid down on me. So, I picked him up and moved him, one of the benefits of him being so small and he decided that the safest place to lay was on my pillows. Ordinarily, I would throw a fit, but considering he's so cute and so sweet and so scared I let it slide.

Smokey sleeps on my bed when I'm not home, so I have placed an extra blanket over my real blanket for him to sleep on. I'm such a good doggie mom. I feel so bad when animals get scared. I tried to reassure him, but he doesn't get it. He just follows me around wimpering. What makes me feel worse is that this didn't happen when Zeke was alive.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

I Have Issues

But don't we all? Do you see the picture of the puppy? I went and played with him today. Yes he is as cute in person as he is in the picture, in fact he is much cuter and so sweet. I helped a family decide which one of two puppies that they should go with and then I named their puppy. I named him Pepper, they loved it. He was a cutie and very sweet too.

So, I mustered up all my strength and walked away. I thanked them for letting me play with the dog and the woman was very sweet and told me to think about it and get back to her. This puppy was born 4 days before Zeke died and I really think that Smokey would like another pet. Every time I mention Zeke he runs around the apartment looking for him.

So, I didn't get the puppy, then I called my father and yelled at him for cursing me with his love of animals and wanting them all. Back in the day, when you could actually do this, my father would adopt a dog, bring it home for a few days, bring it back thereby extending its life at the shelter in hopes that someone would adopt it instead of it being euthanized. Now, my mother is petrified of dogs and my father brought home a different one every week.

My father owes me 4 years worth of birthday presents. He told me to think about it and if I really want this puppy, he'll buy it for me to make up for all the missed years and now I just have to decide if that's what I want.

Let me just say that this puppy was healthy looking, very friendly, very sweet and very playful and now he's all I can think about. My father says to me, it's a big responsibility, um, don't I already have a dog?? Aren't I already taking care of one and don't I know what's involved??

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Wow Look At Me Blog

I can hardly keep up with myself. I know most of you blog everyday, sometimes several times during the day and I don't. But lately, I've been blogging way more than usual. I think it's finally happened, I have worse than no life. Just kidding.

I think that the blog gates have opened since my therapist (in our very first session) told me to let it out and write it down, whatever "it" may be. I knew I liked her for the get go.

So, another freak contacted me and asked if I would like to get together tomorrow and have sex. I declined. Then I told him that my life would probably be a lot happier if I was the type to just have random sexual encounters, but deep down I know that's not true. Although, it's hard to believe that over my screaming hormones.

I'm so sick of these freaky ass men. Honestly, and then I find one that seems to be a good one, and well, look what happens.

Anyway, what's new this week, I told off my father and my ex, so I can cross those off the list. I took my dog to the vet and he has an ear infection and he needs to have dental work. He's also going to be 10, this is especially hard for me this year because Zeke died at 10. So, I'm having a very hard time. I'm sure he will be fine, he's in much better health (that's me knocking wood) but still I worry. Besides, they have to put him under when they do his dental and there's always the (gulp) chance....ok, I'm not even going to finish that sentence, please don't anyone else either.

Anyway, that's about it. I'll check back in when something else occurs to me. Actually, I just thought of something, my therapist told me to call her in between appointments if I needed to and in my infinite wisdom, I said, NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I'm fine. I've wanted to call almost everyday. But I haven't. I can wait another week. See, it's all good here.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

And So It Ends

I told my ex that I'm over him and that he better get over himself. He called and in a fit of rage I answered the phone, he asked what was wrong and I said that I had just had a fight with my father and then I said, "It's a good thing I'm in therapy or else I would kill someone." He starts asking me why I'm in therapy. I tell him none of his business. He gets all pissy and then tells me fine, he doesn't care about me. Then he says that he's there if I ever need to talk he's there and if I have questions he's there to answer them. Then he says, I know I'm part of the reason that you're in therapy.

I got all pissed off. I didn't sleep I was so mad. How dare he???

So, the next morning I texted him and said, just so you know, my therapy has nothing to do with you, I'm long since over you and you need to get over yourself.

So, today I got a text back from him saying that he won't be contacting me again. I guess some of you men that have been commenting about this being a control issue were correct. Now that he knows I'm over him, he's not going to bother with me anymore.

I don't know if I am completely over it, but so what, he doesn't need to know and now that I won't hear from him anymore, things should be getting better.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Here's Another Treat For You

Once again I have found a man who has never met me, but loves me. Please, enjoy!

Hello... How are you doing today? I hope all is Cool...I went through your profile and i really likes all about you, kindly send me your email address, so that i can send you a mail, by telling you more about my self.

Why? BTW, he's 5'6" and 120lbs and he earns less than $15K a year. Yep, looks like I found me a keeper. Oh and here's his about me essay:

I don't know how to begin to express my appreciation for you. You mean so much to me--more than you could possibly know. I can't imagine not having you in my life. Our lives have become so entwined,that we simply can't exist separately anymore. We need each other like springtimeblossoms need rain and sunshine. We've laughed together, cried togetherand through it all we've grown. All along, I've knownthat there's a special quality about you. You have a magical way of reaching inside meand filling my heart with hope and happiness. You make me feel like I can accomplish anything.Thank you, friend. I couldn't get by without you.

Monday, May 22, 2006

My Therapy

I started therapy today and all I can say, is that even though it was a meet and greet, I'm already starting to feel better. I'm sure that it's psychosematic, but still.

I like my new therapist. I can't tell you what it is about her that I like, but I like her and that's all that's important. We talked briefly about my abusive ex and my recent ex and my father. I'll be damned, my recent ex called about an hour after we were talking about him and my father called and hour after that.

I called my father back and he's like I tried to call you and I said I'm sorry we missed each other. Then he proceeds to tell me that my niece never received his birthday card and I said I never received mine and he said, I told you I didn't send one and I said, for the last four years? He proceeds to argue with me and then tells me that I'm wrong then tells me that I'm right and it was because he didn't have my address and proceeds to laugh. I say, I sent you cards for all those years and they all had my address on the return label. I sent birthday cards, father's day cards and holiday cards and I got none. He says, well you paid me back this year by not sending me one so now we're even. I tell him it's not about getting even, it's a principle and he says am I going to get a lecture and I say nope. From there we had a very strained conversation.

I'm trying not to let this get to me and for the most part it doesn't, I said what I wanted to, I expressed myself and now as my therapist suggested, I'm journaling it, I'm giving my thoughts and feelings a voice. I did not and I'm not going to return the call of my ex.

Can any of you men out there tell me why he keeps calling and why he wants to contact me?? He doesn't want to be with me and he has a girlfriend, so what's the deal???

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Third Time Is A Charm-Or So They Say

My father is getting re-married again. He's getting married for the third time to a woman that he met off the same dating site that I belong to. I hate to say it, but I'm not happy for him. I don't think that he should do it. His entire family is not talking to him because they think that it's a mistake. Did I mention that his second divorce was just now finalized? I noticed that my father is still active on the dating site while his fiancee has been off for well over 3 months.

Did I mention that my father cheated on his first and second wives? His second marriage ended after 20 years when my step-mother was cheating on him. Ain't that a kick in the pants? Anyway, his new wife to be, has a 25 year old crippled son that lives with her, my father has never had kids live with him. He and my mom divorced when I was a year a half. He is an extraordinarily selfish man. I think that he's just looking for someone to take care of him and this woman won't live with him unless they get married.

Well, I'm not happy about this union, I don't think my father is the type of person who should get married. It's a good thing that I am starting therapy tomorrow. I have been avoiding my father's phone calls because I have nothing positive to say and I'm afraid that I'll say something that I shouldn't.

Any advice on how I can deal with this?

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Big Organ Donor-Last Post I Promise

By the way, for all of you new readers and old, I never, ever, ever met this guy and have never spoken to him and he knows absolutely nothing about me. He did send me another email which I had deleted without reading because it started off calling me names and insulting me and I don't deserve that, nor will I put up with it. But, I have decided to share his picture with you since, well, I have one. Here it is for your viewing enjoyment!! BTW, he titled this picture, "Hot Child In The City"

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Big Organ Donor Part Deux

Here it is, his charming and loving response.

If you weren't such a boring lay with no experience you'd know that sex spelled with xxx's donates HARDCORE sex - obviously something you will never have the pleasure of experiencing. Your suppose to gag on those dicks not BITE them! Didn't your mommy tell you how to take it like a champ? You haven't learned ANYTHING from watching those Rocky movies! Your such a negative dumb fuck. Good luck in prison. See ya when you come into the city. Hug and Kiss for you. Andrew.

Charming isn't he?

This Post Brought To You By The Letter "G"

Mr. Fabulous assigned me the letter "G" and I haven't yet played along. So here are my 10 things that start with the letter "G". Let me know if you want to play along too.

Gross- I seem to use this word alot. I get grossed out quite easily.

Green- I love the way a nice dark green lawn looks and smells when it's been freshly mowed.

Gary- I've never met anyone with that name.

Germs- I have to admit that I'm somewhat of a germophobe. I wash my hands alot.

Guys- I'll never understand them and I seem to have a love/hate relationship.

Grapes- I love grapes. They make such a great snack. But not the seeded ones.

Gekko- I dislike lizards, even the ones that talk with a lisp on TV.

Greek- I am Greek. I don't speak a word of it. Greek men can be very hot.

Grace and Will- Yeah I know it's backwards, shut up it's my blog. I LOVE this show.

Greedy- I hate greedy people and unfortunately, we live in a very greedy society.

And there you have it. The letter "G".

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Big Organ Donor

If you enjoyed the last one then you're going to love this one!! This asshole sent me this message. I'm including his name and telephone number because he will not stop harassing me. I have blocked him on the dating site and filtered his emails so that they auto-delete yet he won't stop sending them. So if anyone feels like calling him and releasing some aggression, please be my guest. Or, anytime you ladies feel like killing someone or releasing some venomous PMS please, be my guest and use the now and forever punching bag. Here it is. Brace yourself.

Couldn't view your email on Jdate. Not a full member. I don't bullshit when it comes to sexxx. I will be the best fuck you will ever have - and the biggest dick. Your gonna love it. I'm disease/virus free and expect you to have up-to date test results. I bet you'd you love to tswallow my cum loads down your throat after I've fucked the shit out of your beautiful ass. Mmmmm. Soooo goood. Hug and a kiss for you. Andrew. 646-320-3799.

Ok, now here is a proposed response courtesy of the Blair Bitch. Please feel free to put your proposed responses in the comments.

"First of all, it's spelled S E X. The additional x's aren't going to bringyou anymore luck in getting laid. Second, you ARE the biggest dick. Whothe fuck writes something like that to a complete stranger? You EXPECT meto have up-to-date test results? FUCK YOU. IF I were to get tests done, Iwould do it for me and no one else. Certainly not for a pig like you.

As for the rest of your message...put down the Penthouse forum and get back into reality. I guess you thinking talking dirty to a gal you've never met was a turn on for her, huh? I can see why you're still single.

Thanks for the number. I'll forward this message and your number around to all my friends so they can get a good laugh at your expense."

Monday, May 15, 2006

Why Do I Bother The Sequel

Come onnnnnnnnnnnnn, you know it had to happen. Unfortunately, for me, it happened much sooner than I could have expected or hoped for. Here it is, raw and uncut. Please note that this one is 6'4" and 86lbs. I think that they are brothers. I deleted the email address to protect the stupid.

It was nice to see your Prfile here...that reason why i am much intrested in you is that i really love what your profile says.It is really fascinating thats why i decided to drop a note for you.I wish i am the lucky man you needed and i care much about tell me anything you want in a man and am gonna make it up to you.I have been searching for the past years..i was divorced about 2 yrs ago and i have a kid of 10yrs which he is not living with me. I like to be with friends and also in the midst of those i know and those i dont know,like to chat and have great experiences,love to travel alot,and also love to really assist others. I hate cheats,liars,unfaithfull people,and most of all pretenders. I will want to know more about you or if you can give me your phone number so that i can give you a call so that we can hear each other...or if you want me to come over there so that we can see eye to eye and talk things together..Ever since i got to know your profile,since then i have been having some irresistible feelings for you...(Sorry if this hurts you)just to show my feelings for you.Well,I will be waiting to hear more from you and i think i am fit to have you cos my feelings tells me can also Email back on my yahoo Email acount .. to hear from you Soon..and i also if you have yahoo you may mail it to me, so that i can Added to my Yahoo here.. I will be waiting to read from you soon. Take care and have a great day ahead!!! Much Love from. Donnie

I especially like that he loves me, having never met me or ever received any indication that I know he exists. Someone save me.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Back Up On The Horse

Last night I had a date. My first first date in over a year. I decided that it's been three months since the asshole dumped me and that it was time for me to give it another shot. Nothing ventured nothing gained right? So let me tell you about it.

First let me start by saying that he is a very nice, sweet, humorous man. He's only a few years older than me, 6 years to be exact. He's the same religion and he's 6'4". I'm barely 5'3".

We met at a nice restaurant but the wait was almost 2 hours long. We got into his clown car, and by clown car, I mean a clown car. The man is 6'4" and somehow managed to squeeze himself into this little tiny Honda hybrid car. Don't ask me how because I'm still not sure. I saw it, but I still don't believe it. We went to another restaurant, same wait time. I suggested that we go to the movies first. He agreed and off we went in the clown car.

We went to see "Just My Luck," with Lindsay Lohan. It was very cute and it was PG-13 which means that there was no nudity and therefore, not awkward or uncomfortable for a first date. I don't know how he fit into those seats. The movie was very cute and we left and went back to the first restaurant. There was a 10 minute wait. We had a very nice dinner. Good conversation, some laughs. Really nice guy. With a lisp.

I don't know if I want to go out with him again, am I being too critical? I had a nice time, he's a nice guy, but I didn't feel that instant click. Maybe I'm not ready. But I mean come on, WTF?? How long until I get over this POS that didn't deserve me in the first place? UGH.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Why Do I Bother?

I belong to an online dating site. I don't know why I bother. I really don't. I'm going to share an email with you that I received. Here we go!

I have included the subject line and I have removed his yahoo id, even though he doesn't deserve that.

hi babe
Hi sexy, Has anyone ever told you how ravishing you look?Well if not i guess am the first to do so cos i cant just stop looking at your pics and thinking that you were MINE... I just started this online dating thing which my friend thought i shld try out and see if i wld meet the right person for me..I THINK I HAVE if you will reply me.. eheh...Am Mark but my friends prefer to call me an engineer currently working for Shell Oil in Uk .Am from colorado but i schooled at Liberty University in the states for expecting to get you in my life if you dont mind someone like me ...If you'd like to get to know more abt yahoo ID ..I will be waiting for you online now on me

Yep, I got some keepers. Oh and by the way, he only weighs 96lbs. I could crush him or break him in half.

Lucky me. If I get any others, I will be sure to share them with you. I promise. I know that you will all be waiting with baited breath.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

One Of My Worst Moments

I can hardly stand to to talk about it, it was so horrible. But here it is. I went outside with my beloved Smokey to take him for a walk and I planned on putting my new license plates on while I was out there. After Smokey did his business, I was going to put him into the hallway in the apartment while I put the plates on, however, the car was right there and I decided to load him into the back seat and then go put the plates on.

So, we walked up to the car and I opened the car door and bent over to pick him up and put him into the back seat. I started to scoop him up as I have done thousands of times when something went wrong and before I knew what was happening he was crashing head first into the ground. Luckily I hadn't lifted him very far off the ground, and I did all I could to get him back down safely when all of a sudden he let out these blood curdling screaming yelping sounds. The sounds were making me sick to my stomach.

I finally got him down to the ground and there he stood with three legs on the ground and his front paw sticking out in front of him while he continued to cry out. I think that my heart actually stopped while we were standing there. He continued to limp around with his paw sticking straight out and crying. I scooped him up ever so gently and put him into the back seat of the car so that I could rush him to the hospital. I shut the door and started walking back to the apartment when I realized that I had to put the plates on.

I checked on him in the back seat of the car and he was just sitting there with his paw in the air. It was the most pathetic looking thing. I took him back out of the car and he was walking around on all four paws with a bad limp and then he went up and down the three flights to the apartment just fine.

Needless to say that I felt so horrible and that I have spent as much time spoiling him as I can and fussing over him. This was the worst feeling and even though he's okay, I've spent the last few days playing the incident over and over again in my mind, wondering what went wrong and wondering why I didn't just put him into the building like I planned. Why? Why? Why? That's what haunts me. I know that he has forgiven me for this incident, why can't I forgive myself?

Thursday, May 04, 2006

And The Results Are In!!

My Sister in Law did not have a stroke. That's great news!! Unfortunately, they have no idea what was wrong with her and why she continues to have headaches. Anyway, I just thought that you would like the update.

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts, they were greatly appreciated.

If they ever figure out what's wrong with my SIL, I will let you all know. I think that we need Dr. House on this case, don't you?

Monday, May 01, 2006

Holy Scary Shit Batman!!

Tomorrow night I'm babysitting for my niece and nephew while my sister in law has an MRI. Her doctor thinks that she had a stroke. She's 34. Hence the title, Holy Scary Shit Batman!!

Unfortunately, strokes run in her family, so does high blood pressure, which she also has. She's already had a CAT scan, next is the MRI. Hopefully this all turns out to be nothing. I just thought that I would ask for some extra thoughts and prayers until we find out the results of the MRI.

Once again the moral of the story is treasure those you love as you never know when they might be taken from you. Over the weekend we got to see cousins that we haven't seen in years. One of my cousins lost her husband, he was 40, he had a stroke while he was driving and crashed his car into a tree and died on the scene. His little girl was 6. Life can be so cruel.